How to Talk a Cop out of Giving You a Speeding Ticket

Recently I read an article on Yahoo Finance all about how to get out of a speeding ticket. The entire article consisted of quotes from advice given by cops. Like cops are going to tell the truth about how to get out of a ticket. What is amazing is that I've followed the exact steps mentioned in the article almost every time I've been pulled over and I've received 5 tickets out of 5 times of being pulled over. With a perfect score of 5 out of 5 Here is some of the advice given in that article and the ACTUAL reality behind the advice.

#1 Offered Advice- Be Nice- Ok, some cops said that they would be more inclined to let someone out of a ticket if that someone is nice. Yea right! Not to toot my own horn, but I am a fairly nice guy. There is something about being nice that makes it EASIER for a cop to issue a ticket. The cop knows there will be no yelling, no angry driver, nothing that will make the cop's day harder if he gives a nice guy a ticket. Now if he gives some lunatic a ticket, there is a good chance that lunatic will drop the F-bomb and go on a tirade about how he doesn't deserve the ticket and how his life sucks. That would just put a damper on the cops day and the cop doesn't want to risk that happening. I guarantee that a cop is going to let the jerk off the hook before he lets the nice guy off. Trust me, cops are not that noble to think... "ah this guy is really nice, I should let him off the hook even though he was breaking the law and going 11 over the posted speed limit". The proof is every time a cop pulls me over, I turn off the car, roll down my window, put my left hand out the window in the open position and my other hand on the steering wheel. I greet the officer kindly and I cooperate and shoot the breeze with him. He then goes back to the squad car and a few minutes later he comes back with a ticket. I then thank him??? It's happened 5 times in a row with me. It doesn't work!

Alternate Advice: Be Gorgeous

Why is there never a cute girl at traffic school? Could it be that you just have "bad luck" and you got the ugly class? Let me tell you, I've been through traffic school for almost every one of my tickets and I am yet to see a gorgeous girl in class. I've asked my 3 brothers the same question and they too have never seen a pretty girl in traffic school. I asked my buddies, my college roommates, my cousins and even my church advisors and they have all told me the same thing; Never, has there been a good looking girl in traffic school. Why? Because Cops don't give tickets to beautiful people. So my advice... be good looking.

#2 Offered Advice- Keep it Honest- Ok, whatever cop gave this advice to get out of a ticket is a LIAR! Don't you hate when a cop comes up to your window and asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" It's like if you say no then he knows you are full of crap, right? WRONG. If you tell the officer how fast you were going he has a CONFESSION from you. That's what he wants from you, guilty by self admittance. That is a no-contest ticket in court.

Part of the article I read stated that if you tell him about your day honestly sometimes the cop will understand and let you go. Well... just a few months ago on my birthday I was trying to merge onto an on-ramp to the freeway and I had to speed up to pass a few cars in order to merge. A motorcycle cop was right there and of course, he pulled me over. He told me he actually saw me going the speed limit and then speeding up to merge. He was real nice about it. He then took my license noting my birthday was that same day. He then went back to his motorcycle and came back with a speeding ticket!!! I couldn't believe it. I made an honest mistake... and it was my freaking Birthday. Cops don't care about the truth.

Alternate Advice: Shut the Hell Up

I'm sorry to use that word, but for crying out loud don't talk too much. You will only give the copy more material to use against you if you challenge him in court. The fact is, you probably aren't going to challenge the ticket, but you don't want him to know that. You have to make it hard for this cop so he doesn't want to mess with the hassle of the possibility of you fighting it in court. When he comes up to your car window hand him the business card of your LAWYER along with your license. That's right, you will be happy to answer any of his questions... in the presence of your lawyer! Cops aren't scared of anybody or anything... except lawyers and being sued. If a cop thinks he is going to be sued, he will back off. Even if you don't have a case, he nor his department want the hassle of a lawsuit.

My Proof: My good friend is a cop and I had lunch with him one day after some lady he gave a ticket to told him she was going to sue him for discrimination. I never saw him so nervous in my life and he actually hadn't done anything wrong. The lady did take him to court and she lost because she was stupid and my friend cop obviously didn't discriminate. But the fact was he was scared and nervous about going to court even though he wasn't completely innocent in the matter. I bet if he had the chance to do it all over again he wouldn't if issued that lady a ticket just so he wouldn't of had to go through the pain.

#3 Offered Advice - Stay Calm

Ok, I partially agree on this advice. It is a good idea to keep your hands on the steering wheel so the cop can see them and to turn of the engine of your car so he doesn't think you are going to speed away. Don't reach for your glove box and get all frantic because he might think you are reaching for a gun. I think this is just common courtesy to cops who know about other cops who have been shot on routine traffic stops. But the part I don't agree with about staying calm is the same part that I mentioned about being nice. If you are too calm the cop doesn't have any reason not to give you a ticket because he knows he won't upset you and therefore you won't upset him. So that leads me to my alternate advice.... to cry.

Alternate Advice: Cry

I've had several friends that were girls over the years and here is one fact that remains true. If you are a girl and you cry, you will get out of a ticket. I mean cops can be jerks, but even a jerk can't help but have compassion on an innocent looking crying girl. Now if you are a guy, I don't have any evidence that this will work because I don't know any guys that have cried while getting a speeding ticket. But please, give it a try and let me know how it goes. I would try it myself on my next 6th ticket, but I'm not due to get that ticket for another year and half after when I'm eligible to take driving school again.

Note: If you are gorgeous and you cry there is absolutely no chance in hell you are going to get a ticket. It is just one of the laws of the universe.

Interesting facts: I am a super senior 4 times over at driving school. I basically get a speeding ticket every 2 years even though I drive like a grandma. One time I had traffic school with 2 of my brothers. The 3 of us had a good time and the instructor got a kick out of the fact that it was his first time in 20 years that he had 3 bros all in his class at the same time. The funny thing is we had about 5 other friends who got speeding tickets that were suppose to sign up for that same class that dogged us at the last minute.... one of which that was actually a cute girl. I still have my doubts that she actually got a ticket.

My wife gets annoyed with me because I always quote things I learned about traffic school while she drives like who has the right of a way a pedestrian jaywalking or a you the driver? Let me give you a hint... if you and your car has the right of way the pedestrian will likely be killed.

If you are interested in reading the article on yahoo finance the url is: http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110666/what-not-to-say-when-pulled-over-by-a-cop

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